Thursday, February 20, 2014

FTSF11: Decisions, Decisions


Host Janine, Kate, Kristi, and Stephanie
My hidden talent...

This is a fabulous prompt to receive when visiting your parents. Because who knows you like your parents do? As much as I desperately wanted to come up with something truly cool, I had to embrace my extreme lack of coolness and just share who I really am. This one was my mother's suggestion.

Oh, Myers and Briggs. I don't pretend to have any extensive understanding of Myers-Briggs score interpretation, but I sure do enjoy discussing it. I took the full version in 1994, and I've continued to receive fairly similar scores on the short Internet version since. There's one question that contributes to your T/F score about decisions--whether you find them easy or difficult--which I never find difficult to answer (ironically). I hate decisions. I don't particularly love small decisions like, "Where shall we go for dinner?" or "What day shall we pick up the mulch at the compost center?"

Bigger decisions like, "Which day do you want to fly? And what time?" send me running to the TV for emotional relief. The Dude can attest to this: he starts talking travel plans, and I run away. (Not that I don't like to travel, by the way, I just don't like planning it.)

So you can imagine my difficulty with a decisions like, "Where will we move?" or "Shall I change jobs?" Ultimate anxiety overload.

The funny thing, though, is that my mother's suggestion was that my hidden talent is my decision-making ability. And, in comparison to my sister (bless her heart), I am extraordinary at it. My sister is so convinced that decisions don't bother me that she thinks I must score differently on the Myers-Briggs than I actually do (she's the one who actually knows it, being a therapist and all).

But here's my secret: I've learned to compartmentalize. When I know a decision is going to be a hard one, one of those ones that gives me anxiety nightmares and keeps me on edge all day long, I pack as much of the emotional involvement as I possibly can into a little portion of my brain. I seal it good and tight with packing tape and then avert my eyes. Possibly for months. There's no way to pack it all away, and I wouldn't be able to make a decision without feeling it, but this way, I can still function.

And I know, with those monster, scary decisions that cause too much emotional upheaval to handle, I can't unwrap that box in a hurry. It'll stay sealed, good and tight, long after the decision has been made and acted upon, until I'm no longer so tender. Want an example of this? My second TToT post, written a year after we moved.

So, in the end, I'm really not terrible at making decisions. I can do it; I just hate them. How about you? Decisions easy or hard? Any coping mechanisms needed?

14 comments :

  1. Not a fan of making decisions and can be very indecisive here, too. I drive my husband crazy with the simplest thing like deciding what to have for dinner. So, trust me I definitely get this one!

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  2. So not a fan of making decisions. My dad once told me that NOT making a decision was, in fact making one (missing deadlines, etc), that it almost changed my life. Almost, because I'm still bad at it.

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    1. Actually, I am not much of a procrastinator. Way to much J in my M-B score to be one. I've heard that adage before, but I am afraid (if I were a procrastinator) it would make me want to punch the speaker in the face.

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  3. I like that tip of compartmentalizing for decisions- that's great! Now don't leave me hanging--- what's your type??? I adore Myers-Briggs. I am an ENFJ. :)

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    1. Well, since you asked...INFJ. I see we are very similar. Except you like people, and I don't. JK, I like people, but they wear me out.

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    2. Ha! You know, honestly, I present more as an ambivert- the NF combo can make even an extravert need that alone time. Plus I am also a "highly sensitive person" which means I have a lot of introverted tendencies. Does it sound like I am trying to sell you on us being BFF's? ;)

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    3. Ambivert is a new word for me, and I am so glad to have it! I've never known what the in-between is called. I see that about the NF combo. I'm a very borderline N. Sometimes I get S, but I still get N more frequently. And don't worry, I will be your BFF. Can we have a shared necklace? Let's get our M-B scores engraved on them. :)

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  4. I don't mind decisions as long as I have done my homework in advance. I do get tired of it sometimes and wish someone else would decide on the little things...like...what's for dinner.

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    1. I hate the homework part of it, too. Nasty decisions!

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  5. Aw yeah, MAN I remember the MEAT!

    Decisions don't bother me too much though, but the consequences of them can.

    But the bottling up thing. I don't do that because it's bad for me. I have to let it out otherwise it festers and gets toxic.

    Myers Briggs I don't really understand, but I'm ENTJ (and I don't remember what that means)

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    1. Yeah, I know, this was one of those posts that got me thinking about whether this was a pretty unhealthy habit. But I think I'm OK. I really do work through the feelings, but I have to wait awhile.
      I am really surprised you're a T. Interesting, interesting. E, obviously.

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  6. The very long menu deliberations mentioned in my FTSF? Hate decision making on all levels and I too just tend to compartmentalize it and then look away. So we do share another similarity after all :-)

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    1. Yes, but don't forget managing to find the most expensive item in the store. Such a gift!

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