Thursday, December 4, 2014

No Boundaries

I wasn't thinking of participating in the FTSF this time 'round. Nothing was coming to me, but then this afternoon happened. And I think it's fair to say, if there were a reality show about my life it would be called No Boundaries.

What mother hasn't complained about not being able to use the bathroom in peace? What mother hasn't written about those moments that she realizes she's fully invested in this mama-business, doing and saying things she never imagined doing or saying?

I had a couple of those moments today:

Some sort of mild digestive ailment hit my children today. My son woke up from his nap having fouled his diaper and sheet. I got him and his bed set to rights in time for the bus, the rush to gymnastics, the rush home, the rush to get supper on the table...you know the drill.

I was sliding the tray of chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries (judge me, I don't care--that's Thursday nights after gymnastics), when I heard my daughter scream. I called to her to come to me, and she came with her coat and boots still on but her pants and panties around her knees. I pooped in my pants! she wailed.

Since she's five and long past her "accidents," I simply tried to calm her and walk her to the bathroom where I could get her cleaned up. As we moved, my two-year-old son followed closely behind in a crouch, pointing at my daughter's verynotclean rear end and shouting, Whoa! Whoa! (picture that as about three syllables per word) with great enthusiasm.

And, it was at that moment that I thought, I never pictured this part of motherhood. One so distraught, the other so entertained, and the subject? Poop.

Oh, and that was not the end of our digestive trials. Oh, no.

However, they did not dampen my children's appetite for chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries, and we had a perfectly pleasant supper with both of them earning a dig into the leftover Halloween candy bucket.

It was only after supper, after I'd washed dishes and cleaned the kitchen that I looked at my daughter with surprise. Where are your panties?

I didn't want to put any on.

Well, go put some on now.

OK, Mommy. 

And as she departed, she kissed me on my hiney.

And, at that moment I thought, I never pictured this part of motherhood. But it warmed me to my core.

with hosts Kristi and Stephanie

22 comments :

  1. Um hey, what is that AWESOME Happy Frist Birthday thinger you have over there >>>
    And more importantly, why don't I have one?

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    1. I don't know! I got it at the time. You'll have to ask Lizzi.

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  2. Oh my goodness - poor Maggie! Poor Leo! OK, mostly poor Mom! These are definitely the moments no one tells you about and you can't in your wildest dreams imagine could possibly be true.
    And that hiney kissing thing - or any other body part that choose at that particular time? So creepy and so sweet all at the same time. Truly the stuff only a mother can tolerate.
    Meanwhile, you have to admire the straightforward logic to the panties explanation.

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    1. Creepy and sweet, yes. From whom (whom?) else would it warm your heart than your own child?
      Certainly, there is logic, but I hold one rule regarding clothing at the table: one must wear underwear at a minimum.

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  3. OMG she kissed you on your bottom???? THAT IS PURE parent MAGIC!!! I patted Tucker on the butt the other day and he said "hey mom that's private time" WTF??? But cool. Never pictured that!!! I love this and am SO SO happy you linked up with FTSF!!! THANK YOU! This is the perfectest post :)

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    1. Awww, Kristi, you're you encouraging! Tucker's drawing his boundaries! Too soon!

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  4. I am cracking up!!! I remember with my first wanting a HAZMAT suit and my second having the puke go right down my shirt into my nether regions. So freaking true that this new life has absolutely no boundaries. Awesome addition to the FTSF!!!

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  5. Love this line------> "I thought, I never pictured this part of motherhood. One so distraught, the other so entertained, and the subject? Poop." SO so true!
    Poop and pee dominate in my house right now (kids ages 4.5 and 2, similar to you). Just before I dropped my son off at preschool I had to squirt a bunch of bleach on the bathroom floor b/c he randomly peed everywhere, and as soon as I finished with that, my daughter needed a fresh diaper and was hiding from me. I felt like a war victim!!
    Nice to meet you, by the way. I'm newer to the Finish the Sentence group, and it's fun getting to know so many of you!
    ~Julia Arnold @ Frantic Mama

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    1. I haven't even bothered to start potty-training my son so I haven't entered the realm for boy pee aim. I dread it.
      I inconsistent, Julia, but if one of the starters strikes my fancy, I participate.

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  6. That made me giggle and smile and go "awwww" all at once. You captured so much about motherhood here. Hope your little sweeties are feeling better; mine had the throwing-up bug last week. She threw up all over my husband at my book release party, actually... :p

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    1. Yes, both of those reactions. OMG, I saw your pics on Facebook. You failed to capture that moment!

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  7. I'm laughing with you, not at you, Sarah. Hope it's all out of their systems now. Just when you think you can't take anymore, one of those buggers say or do something totally sweet, don't they? It's like they know you're going to break if they don't patch you back up.

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    1. I appreciate your companionable laughter, Dana.

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  8. Yep, poop. Ah, good times, good times. By now, I'll take care casually of messes that would have left the pre-kids me shivering and sweaty.

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    1. Yep. But my husband still has to stomp the bugs.

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  9. Out of all of the things you think about in being a parent, the amount of time you spend cleaning up potty messes is definitely taking up more time than I ever thought.

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  10. Oh man I've been there. The only thing I can add to this is the delight of having such adventure witnessed by your 12 year old nephew who imitates the horror he has witnessed. Over and Over. And yes OVER. Perhaps I'll ask him to do a performance when I next see him at Christmas dinner. He's now 29 and still willing I'm sure. Picture it. Legs spread widely apart, hands running down the thighs and shouting at the top of his lungs "MOMMY!!! I DID AN UCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK." Absolutely charming.

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  11. Oh, have mercy. When this happens at my house, there is one distraught, at least one entertained, and one running to grab the camera. :)
    Hope everyone got it out of their systems in one swoop and you didn't have to deal with any more nastiness.

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