Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Memories

Let's just say someone I know and love was offered a job yesterday. He (or she?) doesn't need a job, already has a good one where he's valued. But this was an interesting opportunity to pursue and so pursue it, he did.

Now he's in the difficult but enviable position of having to make a huge decision between two very good options. I won't dwell there for the sake of anyone who is job hunting. It's like to saying to a lonely, single person, I just can't decide between these two suitors who I love and who love me! My life is so hard!

I might or might not have sat out in the pleasant spring dark last night talking this over, my feet up on the arm his chair, occasionally waving at the after-dark dog walkers. A night like last night called for a cigarette (for him, not me), and I positioned myself upwind and swallowed my criticism.

He said, Why do they want me?

He was once cocky. Once he thought that he was invincible because he was good at his job. Now, he's still good at his job and is told so clearly and often. But he still doesn't feel secure.

This is bullying, three years later. Fuck them.

ww.twoshoesintexas.com


21 comments :

  1. Wow Sarah. Bullying does leave a hurt that won't go away. You were hurt just as much as he. I know this is really difficult for you. There's some validation and good in the job offer and the current position. In time maybe. . . . . . .

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    1. There is so much validation. Oh, it was hard to hear him say he what he did!

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  2. It must be hard to get back one's self-worth after bitter experiences like bullying! I'm so glad that his work is being recognized and appreciated though!

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  3. Sometimes it is so very hard to move on. Memories are like chains around your ankles weighing you down. Trying yo break free from those impediments is clearly affecting his life. He needs a close loyal trusting friend.

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    1. He is fortunate to have them, and they indispensable.

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  4. I still remember the original post....what a lovely resolution ( vindication)!

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  5. How sad, and how familiar to be in a position where you know you make a valuable contribution, and yet still you are badly treated and it can never be enough. I hope he has decided to go with the job that will uplift him and restore his sense of confidence. I hope there is a special place in hell for those who relish in beating others down! I loved that you were there to listen, and decided it was not the time to fuss about the smoke. That's what love is. :-)

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    1. There's a time and place for everything, and that time and place was for the work conversation. I think his current one does uplift him, but it is changing. I think the other has the potential to do so. We'll see.

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  6. Good luck to him (and you) in making the job choice. It's scary to think of leaving a job you already like and are doing well in.

    I hate that he still doubts himself after all this time.

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    1. As do I. He's doing well, but it's changing, and it might be time for something new. I don't know, and the truth is, I don't even have a preference.

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  7. Some hurts never go away. We know. I hate how those things change a person. I know the right answer is there.

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    1. And he's got time to find it. That's generous. And I like to fall back on the belief that there are no wrong decisions. I find that helpful to remember at a crossroads.

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  8. *sigh* I hate that. Hate it.

    Bullying sucks and I know that you know this, I just wish it didn't have that crippling, long-term impact.

    Hope y'all figure it out.

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    1. (I *did* like that you sent me a voice while you were chilling out, though :) )

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    2. I hate it, too, but I like What's App!

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  9. It is sad when you give your best and still feel unappreciated ;o)

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  10. I remember your story about what happened three years ago. It's so hard on a man to lose a job. Those feelings of inadequacy and defeat linger on and on. Been there. Still there, because, even four and a half years after being laid off, my husband is still damaged by it (and I won't even get into what it did, and continues to do, to us financially). I hope your husband gets a self-esteem boost by this job offer; he deserves it.

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    1. Thanks, Dyanne. What you say is true.

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